"They year they outgrew me"

Sunday night I got the call I've been preparing myself for the last two years. I knew it was coming. It was inevitable. It's human nature, a rite of passage, as predictable as the tide going in and out.

And yet... I wasn't ready.

Missi called on Sunday night with the news that the kids weren't coming up to visit this year. They didn't want to hurt my feelings, so Brittany was avoiding making a decision (which means it's made - she just didn't want to tell me) and Brandon... Well, I have to give him credit. He made me proud... at the same time he said the words I had been dreading. Once Missi assured him I wasn't upset or hurt, he got on the phone to tell me himself that he had a job this summer and "probably" (the word used to try to let me down easy, I'm sure) wouldn't be coming up this summer.

Now, to be fair to Brittany, she wasn't home... so maybe she would have told me, too.

My friend told me tonight that when this happened to her she called it "the year they outgrew her." I think that's appropriate. They are teenagers now... they have their friends. At that age, that IS the most important thing... the most important people in their lives.

My head knew this was coming. My heart was never going to be ready.

I am afraid I won't see them much... and I didn't see them enough as it was. That week-10 days each summer was my one chance to get a glimpse into their lives and who they were at that point. The rest of the year, they compete in track, they graduate from elementary school, they have birthday parties, Thanksgiving meals, Christmas mornings, and scores of other events that I'm never part of. We made our memories each July. And they were great memories.

Oh, I know I can go to Florida to see them. And I know I will. But they will still be busy with their friends and lives, and won't have much time for their old Grand Aunt when she's there.

So I am left with the hope and prayer that one day... about 10-15 years from now maybe, that from the foundation we have laid over the last 6 years' worth of summers, we will be close, and I will be invited to the big events of their lives at that time... weddings, births, holidays.

Brittany and Brandon...

“You’re off to Great Places! Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way!” - Dr. Suess, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

2005

















2008